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Definitely NOT leaving airbrushing, but...

Discussion in 'Open Bar!' started by Wan2BCreative, Jan 27, 2014.


  1. Wan2BCreative

    Wan2BCreative Young Tutorling

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    I saw the signs... Now the foot came down!
    Just for clarity, in past threads I have referred to my Fiancée as my "wife" only because I feel as though we are already partnered for life. In heart and mind I am devoting my life to building a beautiful relationship with this person. She is my Soul Mate, and for this reason I will accept compromises.

    My Fiancée is not very pleased with my new obsession, as she refers to it. Its not the airbrushing itself that is, umm... bothering her. Her issue is with the amount of time I spend researching my new passion, scouring the internet for sales on paints, airbrushes, and other supporting gear. I am disturbing the (her) "peace" of our apartment with my "loud as hell" compressor. (Paasche model D500?!?! SERIOUSLY?)
    And, of course, in her opinion I WASTE too much time in perusing this forum just to talk about a bunch of "silliness" with other people who are also "wasting their time" instead of doing something "constructive" OR spending quality time with their families or partners. (her words, NOT mine...)
    These are issues which have arisen in our daily lives over the past month or so.
    Last night she dropped the hammer.
    I have a choice to make, and my options SUCK!

    OPTIONS:
    1. Decrease the amount of time I spend "playing" with my new "toys", STOP checking AB supply stores on the internet every day, (I would be searching on my phone while we were relaxing together after a long day) and... "Leave that "stupid" forum with all those other ****** who are wasting their time, they are a bad influence on you!".
    2. The second is more of an ultimatum. Again, her words, not mine: "If you don't wake up and be more responsible I am out of here! And I will only consider living with you again if you DO start taking your life, and responsibilities more seriously!" This is not verbatim, but close enough to the best of my recollection.

    Unfortunately I have learned the hard way to keep the written list of all of my online credentials of User Names and Passwords. She did openly state that she will LOG IN AND CHECK (with my credentials) to see if I have been here. My Fiancée has turned into my own personal Internet Gestapo.
    Of course I can change my password immediately after I post this thread, but that would only raise suspicion and start another argument.
    My forward progress in airbrushing is going to slow down considerably without the information I can learn here. At this time I can see no other options which I could present to her. She will not insist that I give up airbrushing. Although she is one of those rare individuals who has ZERO artistic skills and a complete lack of creative flow, she does "tolerate" my airbrushing only because she knows it helps me to relax and "let loose" my other interests. IF it was EVER stated that airbrushing needed to go, then she would need to rethink her viewpoint.

    Honestly, she is NOT a bitch. I would NEVER even consider using a word like that to describe her.
    This is one of those issues which I clearly cannot comprehend WHY she is taking that approach.
    But, regardless of whether I understand, I just need to accept this.

    I know she will read this. It will spark up another argument. And I stand firmly as a person who does not just walk away from people without providing at least some explanation. This is important to me. I want all of you who have helped me along the way to know that I am truly appreciative of the assistance you have provided to me. I have enjoyed our conversations, and posting quick & (sometimes) humorous statements.

    I am devoting my life to my Soul Mate. So for now I will accept this development.
    Things do change, and people sometimes change their minds...

    F**K! This SUCKS!

    Keep painting. Keep exploring. Have fun.

    (I will not log back in and will not reply to the email notifications)
  2. Mr.Micron

    Mr.Micron Royal pain in the air hose Admin

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    John
    Does she have hobbies ? If so take them away and soon she will be happy you are on here.
    But we understand and we will be here when you come back .
    DavidStank likes this.
  3. flycatchr

    flycatchr Detail Decepticon!

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    WOW - I know you may never read this, and I hear your point of view, BUT I would seriously reconsider your use of the word soul-mate if there are ultimatums thrown down in this fashion. I know what it is to yearn for that perfect person you will spend the rest of your life with. I also know what its like to have regrets and think about the "what ifs". I would challenge both of you to seriously consider what it is you call a partnership and who calls who a soulmate.
    I actually take offense at being called a time waster and bad influence. in fact if it weren't for this very forum, my time would have been even more wasted in learning things the hard way. If it weren't for the peeps on this forum I would not consider myself an artist and I would be colouring in with my cheesies and not creating with my AB tools.

    It sounds to me like she may have abandonment issues and that it may very well be that her primary love language is time/attention. (quality time). I take my hat off to you sir, to love her enough to give up another love. I pray that there be no bitterness towards her and that she learns to allow you your "cave" time in order for your relationship to grow.
  4. twood

    twood Detail Decepticon! Very Likeable!

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    I agree with everything here and would like to add....Part of a relationship is support to your partner for their endeavors in life. Whether it be time spent with her, Jobs and hobbys. Being given a choice like that in your stage of relationship is, well...controlling.....
    A better way is to find compromises on issues....not being told to do this or else.
    You are a better man than me....she must be something special....But they also say love is blind.
    No offence to either of you...but if she is like this over a hobby that you have found to like, what will she be like after you get married.
    Just my opinion......

    And as they say...you both wear the pants in the family...But hers come off...lol
    Good luck, you might need it
  5. ad fez

    ad fez kind of a big deal = Admington

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    If you know she has one. ..First thing I would do is hide her vibrator....
  6. Mr.Micron

    Mr.Micron Royal pain in the air hose Admin

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    Okay that gave me a madbrush moment for sure LMAO
  7. Madbrush

    Madbrush Guest

    I Don't know how it is everywhere in the world, but if I was left with same options, I would not argue with her thereby making the situation worse, nor would I get angry, I would simply open the front door and say " There you go dear, good luck".

    I hate to tell you But I know from experience that such an ultimatum is merely the first in long line of more of the same.

    But if you don't intend to visit again, what is the point of your' post?
  8. jagardn

    jagardn Airbrush Acquisition Disorder Patient Elite Member!

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    Your right Fez, no use of ANY toys are authorized. I'm sure her vibrator makes as much noise as his compressor. :D
  9. Madbrush

    Madbrush Guest

    The whole thread gave me a Madbrush moment, LOL
  10. Mr.Micron

    Mr.Micron Royal pain in the air hose Admin

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    I think he fully intend to visit again . But he might have to lay low until the heat is off....LMAO
  11. jagardn

    jagardn Airbrush Acquisition Disorder Patient Elite Member!

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    ^^^^This^^^^

    You can not have a healthy relationship without compromise.
  12. Madbrush

    Madbrush Guest

    I would convert it to 240 volts and add a little to length.
  13. WhiteKnight

    WhiteKnight Code Dragon Slayer Admin

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    To me there is more here than just spending too much time on your hobby, these things happen in relationships, and can be worked out easily by communication. The person feeling neglected takes it up with the other stating, what is bothering her and both workout a solution.

    Now if you have to compile a list of where you go on internet and provide your credentials to all the sites, and she checks up on what you do on internet, there is a serious trust issue here. Soul-mate or not.

    Sorry if this sounds harsh :)
  14. Craiger

    Craiger Double Actioner

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    While I agree with what everyone has said here, I wish you the best of luck.
  15. shadow2462

    shadow2462 Elite Member! Elite Member!

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    As a married man for 20 years (3rd & last) I know it takes compromise from both partners and a ultimatum like that is not a healthy start to any relationship no matter how long they have been together. I don't know you or an of your history but all I can do is assume you have a job and work, with that being said if this is the case I am sure you love her but IMO maybe you may need to rethink any long term situation.. (aka marriage)
  16. Snowbird1

    Snowbird1 Spider Splatterer

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    Sounds like control to me lololo.

    Susan
  17. yelloscoot

    yelloscoot Spider Splatterer

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    A lot of good points have been brought up. You have a lot to consider and I wish you the best...
  18. wmlepage

    wmlepage Elite Member! Elite Member!

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    Wow that sucks. My wife has known all 10 years we have been together I have hobbies. Airbrushing is just the most recent. I like you browse during TV time , out to dinner, whatever, hell she even took pictures of me doing it in Disney a few years ago. But then she has no real passions or hobbies , she is understanding, the bills are paid too. Talk it out man. Slow down, learn when she is busy, figure it out. If you can stick it out, and earn a few bucks back, all will come together. If you do not have those aspirations, thats cool too, just enjoy it when you can make time. Maybe compromise to 1-2 nights a week. Maybe a few hours on Sunday. Whatever.

    Good luck man.


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  19. wmlepage

    wmlepage Elite Member! Elite Member!

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    And like the others, if there is no room for comprise, is she really the one?


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  20. mileshawn

    mileshawn Double Actioner

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    Have you heard that country song, " I'm going miss her". Just kidding. Been married for 11 years and there is time when my wife gets frustrated with my hobbies. Our compromise is do painting when it is TV time at night when the kids are in bed. I think Watchung TV is a waste of time so it works for us. Good luck!!!!

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